Happy Mother’s Day!
I wanted to share what’s been on my heart lately & today is the perfect day to do so!
I’ll be honest! I have been a bit emotional the past few weeks- the good kind though, if there is a good kind. My sweet little boy is no longer a baby and my heart can’t seem to handle that. He is fearless. He is strong. He is determined. He is smart. He is growing ever so fast and time needs to stand still.
Just last night, I was getting Christian ready for bed and he so sweetly laid his head on my shoulder. We prayed and cuddled, standing and swaying in his room. Jason came in to give him a kiss goodnight and while Christian reached toward Jason, a strong feeling of pride and happiness washed over me.
My husband was holding our 18 month old son just as he did the day we first brought him home. It was a slightly different picture, with his long legs hanging over Jason’s arms. But I just stood there in the hallway, lost in the moment. Full of joy and at the same time, sadness.
I know now, exactly what my mom meant when she would say, “one day you’ll understand.” I get it. I understand now the fierce love my mother has for my brother and I, because I too have that fierceness with Christian. I understand the great sacrifices she’s made for us and for our family. I understand the deep desire she has to just see us happy. I understand that there isn’t anything she wouldn’t do to keep us safe. I understand now, why when I hurt, she hurts too. And sadly, I understand the guilt & worry that can feel paralyzing at times.
It’s been difficult navigating through all these new emotions as a mother. I’ve come to understand that these deepened feelings of love, adoration, worry, protection, frustration, & overwhelm are all simply, beautiful. Being a mother, means being vulnerable. And as scary as it is somedays, it’s the single greatest feeling in the world.
This Mother’s Day, I am full of joy. I am proud to be Christian’s mom. I’m proud to be my mother’s daughter. I am thankful for my grandmothers and the legacy they’ve left behind. I feel grateful. I feel blessed. I feel love.
Sadly, time won’t be standing still and it almost feels like it’s moving faster. With each passing day, I am reminded to breathe in every minute I have with not only Christian, but my husband, my parents, my brother, my family & my friends as well.
Have a beautiful day, and every day, with the ones you love!
Now excuse me while I go hug and love on my family 🙂